I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
