im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
