Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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