if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
