Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
