the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's shark week go big or go home
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
