Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
