So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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