bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
