how can u be prego again
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My brain says no but my pants say off.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
