Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
