your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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