I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
