You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
do herpes really smell.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
