god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
