how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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