I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
