Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
