I just threw up on my dentist
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
