i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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