Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
