Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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