smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
