I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
