I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
