Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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