highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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