I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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