How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
