You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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