Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
