carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
