hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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