threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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