If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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