My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
