I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
