My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
