HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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