In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
