you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
