just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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