i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
