do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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