What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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