sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
