then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
