awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
