I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
