3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
