dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
