Betty ford says i'm here all night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
